The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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