When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize