i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
