Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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