fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
