Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
