Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm passing your future prison.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
