I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
