If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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