I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
