just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
