Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
