erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
