i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
