I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
