i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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