We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i just google imaged poop.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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