In the future we'll all be gay
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
