through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
