I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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