When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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