honey bunches of taint.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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