it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
