I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
