I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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