Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
