i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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