alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
