btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
