whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
