Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
