she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Sacagawea was the original milf.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
