hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
