please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
