You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
