My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
