I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Are we still banned from the library?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
