when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
