People in love make me want to vomit
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
