She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
