Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
