Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It's just like the Real World with babies
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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