All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
