At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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