She said her name was "party"
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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