My liver just broke up with me...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
