Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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