your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
