i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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