He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
