I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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