So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
